ChainSawyer 530 Chain Lube

Description

Slays grime and questionable ethics alike.

Meet the only lubricant brewed from recycled track tires and triple-shot espresso — guaranteed to go everywhere but where you actually want it. High viscosity means it sticks around longer than your last bad decision.

Why you’ll love it (or at least tell your friends):

• Essence of scorched clutch, like a biker’s perfume
• Tested on the track, approved by chaos
• UV reactive—because your lube should glow as much as your personality
• 87% chance of permanently tagging your favorite jeans
• Contains enough caffeine to wake your chain and maybe your inner speed demon

“Lubed my chain and accidentally my soul.” – Tanner F.

Throttleha.us • Parody product • 100% for laughs, 0% for actual chain care