Clip-On Energy Bars

Description

Because hunger ruins lap times (and patience).

Meet your new pit crew: high-protein clip-ons that moonlight as emergency snacks. One bite allegedly delivers a turbo boost of 15hp focused energy — results may vary but your taste buds won’t care.

Why you’ll love them:

• Crafted from edible polymer (because gums are for wimps)
• Universal fit for most supersports — snack and ride in style
• Zero carbs, 100% attitude, unlimited eye-rolls
• Biodegradable (because crashes happen, don’t ask)
• FDA disapproval pending (we like living on the edge)

“Tasted like speed. Crunchy speed.” – Mac R., Probably

Throttleha.us • Parody product • Consume responsibly (or just brag)