Throttlehaüs NanoShine Spray

Description

Make your bike shine brighter than your questionable life choices—and maybe reflect on them a little while you admire the gleam.

TurboGloss Ultra Shine isn’t just polish; it’s a confidence boost in a bottle, instantly cranking your bike’s style up by 20%* (*style upgrades may vary by ego).

Best admired under the flickering gas station light, where your bike’s glow can outshine your existential dread—and definitely distract from your left-turn indecisions.

Why You’ll Love It:

• Quick-dry formula: Because waiting is sooo pre-smartphone era
• Anti-dust shield that lasts a glorious 5 minutes—plenty of time to stun your neighbors or that one jealous squirrel
• +3mph placebo speed boost: Feel like a speed demon, even if you’re just cruising to the corner store
• Warning: Keep away from pets and deep thinkers. Side effects include sudden bouts of existential laughter
• Tested on influencers and their fragile egos. Results? Classified, but sparkly.

“So shiny, I almost forgot my mistakes.” – Ash D.

Throttleha.us • Proudly Not Serious • For ridiculously shiny rides and unstoppable smirks